Cell Block Tango
by Auntie Shara
Summary: Short one shots based on the song Cell Block Tango from the musical Chicago. i do not own the song or Ed Edd and Eddy.
1. Chapter 1

The Cell Block Tango Chapter 1 – Pop

 **A/N- This will be a series of one shots based on the song The Cell Block Tango from the musical Chicago. It will not be in my rotation but will be more along the lines of when I get writers block on the other fic's or the fire of inspiration hits me. Warnings: Language**

 _And now the six marry murderesses of the cook county jail in their rendition of the cell block tango._

"You know how people have these little habits that get you down." Lee said in an agitated voice as she struck match after match while walking down the walkway of the prison, "Like Eddy. Eddy, he liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP."

Lee and Eddy had moved to Chicago a few years ago to find work, the great depression as they were calling it, had made jobs hard to come by in the small town they were from. What little money they had was spent on the apartment they rented and a few essentials. The building was a worn down mess, the room they rented was barely a livable space for one person let alone two, and the price they were paying in rent a month was outrageous. So right out the gate the first thing Lee had to do was go out there and find work, Eddy on the other hand sat at home checking the classifieds for factory work. Which admittedly would bring in more money than the jobs Lee could find waiting tables or minding some counter at a department store.

But she did what was needed to and walked for miles in search of work, at first she checked the stores and restaurants close to the apartment. But no jobs were to be found close to home, so she expanded her search radius walking further and further from home every day. Finally finding a waitressing job two miles from home, that wasn't too bad right. It would just be a block to the trolley stop then a twenty-minute ride to her stop and a three block walk from there to her job, then back again once her shift was over. Nothing to it right, she could handle this, she would have to if they wanted to eat and have a roof over their heads.

Eddy's job hunt wasn't going so well, if it was going anywhere at all, every day she would leave for work he would still be sitting at the table looking at the paper. Every evening when she came home he would still be in the apartment drinking a beer and chewing his gum, incessantly popping it, as though it was some nervous tick he had developed. "Hey, Eddy," she yanks the pillow out from under him, "What have you been doin all day while I'm bustin my hump?"

"Out lookin for work," he rolls over on the bed facing away from her.

"Oh really, don't look like it from where I'm standin," she picks up some of the mess on the floor, "You could at least help out around here, pick up after yourself."

"That's the dame's job," he waved her off, "Now go fix me some dinner."

Day in and day out this was her life, get up go to work, bust her ass for very little money and very rarely any tips, it was the depression after all, people just didn't have the money to spare. Then after all this and the trip home she would walk through the door just to have to clean up after him and cook for the both of them.

Two months of this treatment and she was close to over it, why was she supporting his lazy ass, she could make it on her own no problem. Why was she putting up with this, she didn't need him, she didn't need nobody in her life that treated her like this, a doormat to wipe their feet on, a work horse to whip.

The day of November first just started off on a sour note, first off Eddy didn't even make the pretense of getting out of bed to go "job hunting". She just sighed and got ready for work, finally getting out the door on time but still needing to rush for the trolley stop. Work was a mad house, being a Saturday, people were stopping in to eat as they did their Christmas shopping. Also working a double today, she got the pleasure of the late crowd as they were headed to the speakeasies, some of them already noticeably drunk and rather hands on.

On her way home she breaks her shoes heel as she was walking to the trolley stop from work, missed the trolley and had to wait for the next one alone in the cold November night for an hour. Then the trudge home to find the apartment a wreck, no food for supper and there's Eddy, lyin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'.

"What are you doin'," she pushes him violently her frustration getting the better of her, "why don' ya get ya lazy ass out there and find a job."

"I'm looking," he bellowed at her, "You think it's easy?" POP.

"Ya right, all you do is sit around here and drink," she runs her hand through her hair, "Wastin my hard earned money on liquor."

"Fuck you, you god damn bitch," incessant chewing, "I'm trying." POP.

"You pop that gum one more time," she yelled as she pointed a finger at him.

"Yeah, what you going to do about it," and he did, POP.

So she took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots...into his head. The police report was simple, domestic dispute gone wrong, she was charged with murder in the first degree and awaits her trial in the Cook County Jail.

He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it, I betcha you would have done the same!


	2. Six

The Cell Block Tango Chapter 2 – Six

 **A/N- The Cell Block Tango Second verse**

"I met Jimmy Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago," Sarah said as she dealt out the cards to the other three women around the table in the common area of their cell block. It was a night out she would never forget, it was in some hole in the wall joint that didn't have a name, and even if it did she couldn't remember it. It wasn't uncommon for these types of places, with the prohibition on alcohol going strong, places like this were here today and gone tomorrow, so there was no real reason to name them or remember them.

But when she saw him standing at the makeshift bar three seats down from her, that dingy dirty quickly thrown together place would be etched in her memory to the end of her days. Those magenta eyes cut into her very soul, the smile that adorned his lips as he returned her gaze was pure and inviting, she was drawn to him, and she hoped that his smile was a sign that he was to her.

Playing hard to get she turns her attention to the Jazz band in the corner, enjoying the upbeat music the small band of African American men and woman provided for them this evening. Stealing a glance back at the apparently shy man, he smiled in embarrassment as he had been caught looking in her direction as well. Turning her attention back to the band, she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face as these little flirtations filled her with excitement, making her insides tingle.

An arm reaching around her to sit their drink upon the bar next to hers draws her eyes away from the band and up to the person the hand belonged to. A gentle smile and warm eyes greet her gaze, her own smile inviting the person in to say "Hello."

"Hi," she replied simply.

"I'm Jimmy," he leans on the bar so they were more eye level.

"Sarah."

His smile spoke that he couldn't believe he was about to say what he was going to say, "What's a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?"

"Ya know, lettin my hair down," she replied as she teased the sides of her hair to demonstrate that it was in fact down.

"I see that," he chuckled and his face lit up with his laughter, "So no one waiting for you at home?"

She knew he wasn't trying to be rude with his question, for in this day and age with morals taking a nose dive and all, you had to make sure the other person wasn't already hitched. "Nope, just me, my brother and mother," she hoped that cleared up any concerns he might have, now her own question, "How bout you? You got a wife and some rug rats at home waiting for their daddy to tuck them in?

"Nope, single," he said displaying his left ring finger as evidence. The rest of the evening was spent in light conversation as they got to know each other better, a few slow dances when the music was just right, jokes and teasing affectionate contact. He walked her home that evening to ensure her safety, dropping her off at the front door of her apartment building, with a chaste kiss to the cheek as he departed. They spent the next week getting to know one another, with sweet dates at restaurants or a play at a local theater, rounding off their night listening to Jazz music at the new speakeasy that popped up overnight. Always ending with a walk home and a gentle kiss upon the front steps before he bid her a goodnight to go home himself.

This was love for her, and from what she could tell by his gentlemanly actions, it was for him as well, that warm light feeling one gets when their soul tells them it has found its mate coursed through her body. By the start of the second week she was moving into his two and a half room apartment, bringing all that she owned with her, which amounted to one suitcase full of clothes. They quickly fell into a routine, he'd go to work, he'd come home, she'd mix him a drink, they'd have dinner.

This blissful union lasted for six-months, he has already started to test the waters with little questions concerning marriage. Like what her ideal ceremony would be like, where she would want to go for a honeymoon, how many kids she would like to have, just general questions like that. Nothing really concrete but she was getting the feeling that he would be down on one knee holding a ring in no time.

All her hopes and childhood dreams were coming true, and rather quickly to she might add if she was an outsider looking in, but to her it was perfect, just a little slice of heaven. But it is as the saying goes, what goes up most certainly must come down, and boy did it ever come crashing down, not only crashing into the basement but all the way down to the depths of hell, in her opinion anyways. This little reality check came in the form of a letter addressed to Jimmy from a Mary Sue Young, delivered by the postman while Jimmy was at work that fateful day. Looking at the letter she thought it must be from his sister back in Utah, some how are you doing, here's what's happening normal correspondence between siblings. As she fumbled to open the envelope she knew she shouldn't read it for it was his business, but her curiosity was overwhelming as Jimmy so very rarely talked about his family back home and this might be a chance for her to learn a thing or two about them.

The letter started off normally, "Dearest Jimmy, we haven't heard from you in some months now, so I write to you in an attempt to learn how your life away from your family is. Last time we spoke, you had just found a job at some factory building automobiles on that thing called an assembly line, that sounds mighty impressive. But enough with my prodding, I'm sure your wondering how the kids are doing."

"Kids," Sarah whispered and continued reading, quickly, it went into great detail about each of his ten children he had between his six wives, all of whom he was still married to. "Single, single, my ass." She tore through the room to find evidence to corroborate her findings in the letter, discovering it in his steamer trunk at the foot of the bed. Tucked inside a book at the bottom of the trunk was an extended family photo, all six wives and ten kids present, and at the center of the group stood Jimmy, the proud husband and father.

Closing the trunk, her feet moved of their own accord, making her way down to the corner store, she bought a very normal item used every day by many households across the country. Later that evening, Jimmy came home from work as usual, to a loving home with dinner cooking on the stove and a martini already prepared to melt away the stress of his hard work day. He kisses her upon the cheek as he takes the glass from her to go sit down in his easy chair and read the paper as dinner finished cooking, taking a deep drink of the clear liquid. Getting a shock as papers were thrown into his lap along with a familiar photo, "Mind explaining this," Sarah said, her words dripping with just as much poison as he had just drunk. "How long Jimmy," she poked as he gasped for air as the poison took effect, "How long were you going to string me along? What was I? Some floozy to get your kicks with?" He tries to get up as he struggled to breath, he knew something was wrong as he collapses to the floor continuing to gasp for air. "I'm sorry but apparently some guys just can't hold their arsenic." She was remanded into the custody of the Cook County Jail a day later as the coroner had reported poisoning as the cause of death, she awaits trial to this day.

Hah! He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He took a flower  
In its prime  
And then he used it  
And he abused it  
It was a murder  
But not a crime!


End file.
